I've been thinking a lot lately and I'm not sure what to say or do anymore. I've been feeling very uninspired lately and I'm starting to wonder if I should bother with this art stuff anymore. I know I've said that countless times in the 11 years I've been sharing my art on dA, but the more I think about it, the more it's getting to me.
I've said before how I've felt too old for this. I'm not sure if I'm just bored or what but I think of the "old days" and I get sad and nostalgic. I don't talk to anyone I used to in the fandom anymore. It got to the point I don't even bother to sign on to messengers. I've said before how I feel so disconnected from the fandom. I rarely draw anymore unless it's for comic or convention stuff.
So why am I still here? Why do I bother? Why am I bothering with conventions? Cons cost so much damn money to do that I'm scrounging for money just to go to the thing by the time I've spent all my money on prints or whatever I'm selling. Why am I trying to get more comic work? I just won't be able to get it done and they'll probably all drop me in the end. I don't know why I'm still clinging to these childhood (or childish?) dreams anymore. The more I think about it, the more angry at myself I become. I should have ended this a long time ago. It's lead to nothing but a half finished story and a lot of heartbreak. I should just listen to my mother and grow up already.
I'm done ranting. Thanks if you read all that. I just needed to get it off my chest.
Visit me at Bronycon! Table 305!